T minus 11 days and counting.....

Do you know what today is? November 4, yep a pretty normal day. My guy and I are home from church. He had a rough night last night, I think he may have an ear infection on top of his chronic cough and snotty nose. Bunches of people are fasting for him today, so of course today is the day he gets sick. Worry doesn't seem to describe what I feel. I will talk to Cardiology tomorrow and see if this is a set back or if we can just let him process through it and go ahead with the scheduled surgery date. I just need him to be healthy, and stay that way.
A lot of sweet people ask how I am doing. I think I wear my worry on my face. This is my response: my house is very clean and organized. I have made 15 freezer meals. I cry every day- but I am able to schedule it so not to scare the children. I organized the sheds outside-I'm not sure how Thom feels about his "man shelves" being covered in flowery contact paper, and everything is neatly packaged in a plastic tub, and alphabetized. I have made to do lists, daily schedules, phone lists, menus, essential oil blends, homework schedules, crafts for Sev while in the hospital, and washed all the stuffed animals he wants to take with him. I try to control the things I can, because I am in an uncontrollable situation.
I explained to my seven year old about the Fontan procedure. He is really worried about his brother. He always wanted a brother and Sev is the bestest one around! He seemed to understand my diagrams as I described blood flow and how Sevies heart is different than ours. He even explained it to Thom later that night. Really very sweet. Yesterday we saw a Life Flight helicopter, we always say a prayer when we see one, Johnathen offered the prayer, and when he was done he said " I really hope Sev will be ok" me too buddy me too.
I refused to turn my calender over until yesterday, but I don't have to look at it, just a few more days of ignorance. Time is slow and fast simultaneously.
Severin was given a priesthood blessing tonight. He was amazingly well behaved. I hope my faith is enough, and my son will be healed.